Monday, December 12, 2011

Big Brother

When I was pregnant with Ari I wondered how in the world I could ever love another baby as much as I love Riker.  He's such an awesome child - curious, engaging and clever and we are delighted by him every day.

What is it about sunnies that kids love so much?
At the fountain in front of the National Library.  Note mom's sunglasses in hand :)

When Ari came along I found that I somewhat miraculously had the ability to feel the same depth of emotion once again.  I read a nice analogy recently to explain to children how there can always be enough love to go around.  Love is like the sunshine – sharing the sun doesn't mean you get any less of it. 

Sharing the sun

It's still difficult to know how Riker feels about Ari, however, and it can change from minute to minute.  Sometimes he starts calling out for him as soon as he wakes from a nap.  "Baba!"  When Ari cries, Riker has been known to point to my chest and then to Ari to let me know he needs milk.  He shows him things and pulls at his arms and legs as if to say "play with me!"  But that soon turns into frustration as of course Ari just lies there (often looking at Riker with something resembling fascination or adoration).  There are also plenty of angsty moments where he seems to feel jealousy and resentment and these can lead to hitting or scratching at the drop of a hat.  Fair enough.  Who wouldn't feel upset if the most important person in their world brought home a new someone special?

Two special someones

Despite the hitting episodes, I can see affection developing and it's my greatest hope that they grow up to be playmates, confidants and friends. 

We turned our backs for a split second yesterday and found this scene! 

Any outbursts of hitting or scratching are usually promptly followed by a make-up kiss and while I don't want to send the message that anything goes as long as you atone for it afterward, it's very sweet! 

Smothered

In general, Riker is mostly affectionate with Ari, kissing him all the time and not just after he's hit him!  Sometime it's all a bit much for the little guy and while he's having a totally different babyhood to the calm and quiet life that Riker knew at this age, I think it'll be a good life. And as for the mama, I've got my hands full, but I remind myself that full is better than empty!

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